


Insecure Butterfly

by thoughtfullyyoungduck



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, like that's the whole fic, remember that everyone is beautiful in their own way!, so if you're sensitive to that please don't read this, this deals with body insecurity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:47:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23724823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtfullyyoungduck/pseuds/thoughtfullyyoungduck
Summary: Richie and Eddie’s daughter feel fat, and Richie and Eddie do their best to convince her otherwise.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eddie/daughter, Richie/daughter, reddie with daughter
Kudos: 25





	Insecure Butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, how's everyone doing? Please let me know what you think of this! I based this on my own personal experiences.

The front door closes with a loud bang, as Richie tumbles trough it, a flower bouquet gripped tightly in his left hand. Among the flower bouquet is a combination of Zinnia’s, hibiscus and red saliva's, who granted don’t match, but they are Richie’s favorite flowers, and it’s only really meant to prove to Eddie and Calia that he thinks about them anyway, so they don’t have to.

He’s overcome with happiness, the sun warming every inch of his skin and making the world seem that much better and more welcoming, the smiles that have returned on everyone’s face at the first sighting of the heat resulting in one on his face too.

Summer has always been his favorite season, as a kid it was because it meant he was duty free, no school to worry about and no homework that he half-assed just to get it done. Summer was the equivalent to freedom, the losers and him always escaping to a place, mostly to the barrens, where parents couldn’t judge them, and there were no expectations, no rolls that they were forced into.

After the summer where Pennywise nearly killed them all, the season stopped representing joy, and instead depicted the dark, mind-numbing fear Richie had experienced for the very first time at IT’s hands. Then he forgot about IT, but his life dulled down so fully without his friend being there, that life was one long endless year he survived, barely taking notice of what the weather was like.

Re-meeting Eddie again after Mike called, caused summer to claim his rightful place as the number one time of the year once more.

So sue him for being excited that it’s summer break, but spending time with his family in the summer, to go camping or swimming, lit Richie up like a crystal ball, the inner child in him bubbling up to the surface. A list of things they can do holds Richie hostage, and he barely contains the excitement until he enters his home, trying to convey to the outside world that yes, he is a grown man and not a kid on Christmas eve.

He’s walking towards the kitchen, whistling a tune of a song Eddie hates, and Calia claims makes him appear even older then he is, searching around for his husband who by all means should have been home after dropping their daughter off with a friend.

Said husband ambushes him from behind, a hand gripping Richie’s bicep harder than strictly necessary, spooking Richie even when he tries to pretend it didn’t.

He turns around, his mouth halfway to making a joke already, but stopping once he spots the look of absolute dread coming from Eddie. At first he thinks it has something to do with Sonia, because even now that Eddie isn’t in contact with her anymore, devastation would still take a hold of him if something bad were to have occurred with her, but it’s not.

‘Our daughter’, Eddie says with a pinch of hysterics, ‘thinks she’s fat.’ His breathing comes in short gasps, which indicates that he’s about to have another panic attack, and Richie needs to hurry to distract him so he can steer it away.

‘I brought you flowers Eds. They smell all sweet and cute, like you.’ He decides on, shoving the bundle under his nose, attempting to make his smile as unsuspiciously as possible. Eddie takes to flowers and spares them a quick glance, before shoving them up the small table that’s mostly used for decoration, abandoning them for later.

‘I’m serious Rich, where did she even get that idea?’ He starts to pace up and down the room, sauntering in their living room where he resumes his hovering, deep in thought.

With a sigh, Richie follows him and takes a seat in their sofa. Of course what Eddie claims is concerning, but it wouldn’t be the first time that Calia entrusted him with something, and he was oblivious to the context in which it was said. Besides, at least one of them needs to be calm to resolve the situation, and it seemed like that task fell upon his today. ‘Did she say anything to you?’ Richie inquires, fishing for as much details as he can get. His earlier mood is completely obliterated, uneasy sitting in the pit of his stomach, despite his best attempts to stay focused.

‘No’, Eddie replies, sheepishly, as he comes to a stop and looks up at Richie guiltily.

‘Eddie, you can not spy on her.’

‘I did no such thing asshole’, Eddie defends. ‘I overheard her on the phone while she was in the car. There was no way that I didn’t hear anything, and it was not done on purpose.’ His hand chops in the air to accentuated his point, appalled at the accusation Richie made. ‘I’m not my mother.’

Immediately consumed with guilt, Richie scrambles off their couch, seizing Eddie’s hand in his to try and capture his eyes. The hurt that burns through him when Eddie snatches his hand away makes his feel even worse. ‘That’s not what I was trying to say Eds.’

With an eyebrow lifted, Eddie stares at him, as if daring him to spell out what he did mean then. His hands are fidgeting by his side, and Richie notices it right away, his own hands itching to comfort his husband.

‘I’m sorry okay? You could never be like your mom. A lot of parents check their kids phone Eds, that does not mean they’re your mother. I’m just against reading her texts, it’s her privacy. I should have realized that you respect her privacy as well and I’m sorry, but I will never, ever compare you to your mother okay?’

Eddie grunts, still a bit annoyed at Richie, but he accepts the kiss from him eagerly all the same, the anger draining out of him the second their lips touch. Privileged to be the one to have that effect on Eddie, but also understanding the severity of the situation, Richie struggles to detain a smile.

‘I’m sorry too, I was trying to pick a fight because I have no idea what to do with all this anxiety in me, but that was wrong.’ Eddie accounts for.

Richie shrugs it off, they have more important things to get too anyway, and he should have worded it better in the first place. ‘Well then we’re both sorry Eddie Spaghetti, now sit your cute ass down and tell me what happened.’

Relenting, Eddie trails after Richie, sinking down next to him, while he begins to tell the story from the start. ‘When I dropped her off this morning at Nina’s house, we were running a little late, so she called her to say that we were bound to arrive soon, and the two of them got talking. I don’t know what Nina said, I heard nothing of her side of the conversation, but Calia responded to her saying ‘I know that, but I’m too fat to wear such a thing anyway’, what the hell do we do Rich?’

Something bubbling up under the surface tries to make its way up, insistent and demanding Richie to accept it, to process it regardless of his tries not to.

Helplessness settles in in every pore of his being, prolonging his suffering and making his stomach turn violently. This somehow feels worse than Calia being sick, simply because there’s nothing really to be done.

Richie has spend more than enough of his childhood and adolescence hating the way he looked, and attempting to change all the things he didn’t like, revolted by the reflection that stared back at him, and followed him anywhere he went.

And it’s not something that anyone else can fix for you either. Eddie hadn’t been able to make Richie more confident, not for lack of trying, and everyone telling him that he was beautiful as a child only had an aversion effect. He was being unheard, his insecurities swept from under the rug like they were too much to deal with.

Claiming he was beautiful felt like an escape, an easy way out of conversation that everyone was too awkward to have. He wonders if perhaps it’s something genetic, something he passed on to his daughter.

The mom’s in the Facebook group I’m in said that we should take away all mirrors, is that something we should do?’ Startled by Eddie’s admission, Richie starts guffawing.

‘You’re in a Facebook group with all moms?’ He teases, words light with an blasé tone about them. His mind flashes back to years of not being able to view himself in the mirror, feeling nothing but shame whenever he did catch his own eye.

‘Don’t you fucking start Richie’, Eddie warns, but Richie succeeds in his intent, which was distracting Eddie from the serious issue at hand, and a tiny bit off lightheartedness reared its head, soothing him by the fact that he knew what it was like, and he might be able to help her.

‘Alright, Alright,’ Richie relents, for now, his arm up in a surrendering gesture. ‘Let’s just talk to her, and then we’ll see what she says. But Eds, we’re gonna need to handle this naturally okay? Don’t ambush her.’

‘Obviously not dickwad, if anything, it’s you that has to act normal.’

Without question, it’s Eddie that brings up the topic, not even a second after Calia arrives home. She finishes taking off her shoes, adjusting her grey sweater that she was wearing, as she follows the sound of Richie and Eddie’s bickering, the way she is used to them doing.

With a greeting wave, she crouches down to grab a water bottle in the fridge, uncapping the plastic and taking a big gulp.

‘We need to talk’, is the first thing Eddie declaims since she laid eyes on them. She stops mid swallow, her eyes turning wide and her face paling, full of worry.

‘You’re in trouble young lady’, Richie jokes in his best principal impression, before motioning her over. ‘Your dad is kidding, it’s just a talk, you’re not in trouble.’

‘Jees dad, I have anxiety, don’t do that.’ Calia says, her eyes rolling with vigor. She listens to Richie, her posture relaxing and her shoulders dropping, the worry’s melting away.

‘Great job Eds,’ he murmurs quiet enough that she doesn’t hear them, while still jabbing Eddie ins the side. Already, it appear as thought the conversation is not going to go the way they planned it.

‘So, what’s up?’ She asks, flitting her eyes between her parents, attempting to gauge them. Attempting to come across as nonchalant, Richie stretches out to the back of the sofa, his entire body splayed out sinking down.

It gives away more than he wants, the alarm bells going off in Calia’s head, an eyebrow furrowed in confusion, and the nervousness coming back. The eyebrow is something she has clearly mirrored from Eddie, and at times Richie speculates what she may have gotten from him and comes to the sick and twisted realization that mental issues, might be the answer.

He shakes himself out of his stupor, resigning it to a later time maybe tonight, as he would no doubt overthink everything right before sleep carried him off to sleep.

‘Your pops and I wanted to ask you about something I overheard in the car this morning.’

Becoming evident right away that Calia is appalled at the prospect of her father budding in a private conversation, Richie hurries to alleviate the situation.

‘He didn’t mean to listen in kiddo. It was an accident, but we still need to discuss it, it’s important. ’

Calia huffs, but stay silent none the less, and Richie takes it as his cue to continue.;

‘Your dad said that you said that you were fat’, Richie’s voice cracks at the end of his word, his stupid emotion getting the better of him as his heart breaks. In all his life, Calia was the most magnificent person, Eddie not taking into account, that he had ever encountered, and it was agony to know that she felt so less of herself.

Her face turns red, a blush coating both her cheeks, while she tensely glances around the room, avoiding eye contact. ‘So’, she mumbles, embarrassment creeping up her spine.

‘Why do you feel like that?’ Eddie prods, recalling some off the things he and Richie google searched before Calia get home.

She shrugs her shoulders, and Richie relates to her desire to get out of the situation fast. It’s not easy, to talk about the things that plague us so deeply, especially not with our parents of all people, but he knows that if they don’t talk about this now, they never will.

‘You can tell us, there’s no judgment in this house. Well except judgment on your dad’s cutnes, he’s 1000 percent guilty of that.’ He reaches over to pinch one of Eddie’s cheeks, hissing when his hand gets smacked away.

‘Hey, if you two are going to do, I’ll just go up to my room.’ Set out to escape the living room without her parents taking notice, Calia stands up inconspicuously, shuffling towards the door.

When both of her parents turn to watch her, and Eddie asks her to sit down again, she groans, but still does what is requested of her.

‘Can you tell us? I promise that if you confide in us this one time and we can’t help you or you feel to uncomfortable, then we won’t ever bring it up.

‘I just am okay? Like I’m a lot bigger than most of my friends, my stomach is protruding and I have a double chin. Compared to how you guys looked, and my friends it’s a simple fact that I am fat.’

Eddie has to swallow down his tears at her words, even when he squeezes his eyes closed to stop them that way. Granting him a minute to collect himself, Richie takes the lead. He himself discovers that it’s as hard being a parent as it is being the person who has low self-esteem. He finds himself rendered so useless.

Before he has a chance to even respond, he catches the words that Calia breathes out, like another kick to an already wounded puppy. ‘It’s not like any guy will ever want me either.’

‘Okay, don’t you ever fucking say that. Who the fuck cares if no guy, or girl wants you. They do, I know in the same way that I know you’re beautiful, but I also that right now that means nothing, and you think that I’m your father so I have to say that, so let me make clear to you what is true. You don’t exits to be a wife, that is not why you are born. You’re alive to brave through the world, and to leave the world a little brighter when you leave. If that includes having a boyfriend than okay, if it doesn’t than that’s that. A body isn’t functioning because you need to please someone, it’s such a complicated and crazy thing, but it works.’

While taking a deep breath, he uses his pause to stare at Calia’s eyes, conveying how much he means what he says.

‘Who created that extraordinary painting that won her top of her class, and resulted into it being displayed at in the art museum?’

‘I guess I did’, she concurs, her full and undivided attention on her dads.

‘Yeah, you fucking well did. And who wrote all those enthralling and peculiar poems that put uncle Ben to shame?’

Giggling, Calia point at herself with both her thumbs. ‘This girl.’

‘Yeah that’s right,’ Eddie buds in, finally able to get himself together enough to participate. ‘your body did that all in it’s own, and that had nothing to do with the way you look at all.’

‘I know this sounds like such a lie, but’s not. One day you will find someone that not likes you with your flaws, but because of your them. You’re not perfect, no one is, but you have such a wonderful soul, that everything else is added bonus. The guy that’ll date you in the future will have hit the jack pot, whether you’re skinny, or chubby or fat.’

‘That’s pretty fucking deep Pops.’ Calia messes with him, giving him a gentle push to throw him off balance, and break the serious tension that floats around the room.

‘Wow, you try and be nice to your children once and this is what I get as a think you?’ Richie complains sarcastically, pretending to cry and gain sympathy.

‘And don’t curse in front of our daughter Richie. How dare you?’ Eddie adds, the smirk turning the words from serious, to playful.

‘Thanks dads,’ Calia entrusts, enveloping both of them in her arms. Her insecurities won’t be gone overnight, but at least she knows she has her dads to remind her of the important things in life, and to emphasize how beautiful she is. When the family settles in or a movie night, outside, a butterfly makes it’s way up to the sky.


End file.
